Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
