My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
