3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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