I am midnight drunk by noon
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
