The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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