Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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