I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
