why didn't you poke me back
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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