You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
