His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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