But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
