She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
