To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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