I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Pappa wants mamma naked
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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