remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
