Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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