just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
