So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
they're like a gay fantastic four
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
