I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
