who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize
