She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
