I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Let's paint friendship bongs
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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