STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
