it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
