I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
she peed on how many people?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
