The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
