You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
