His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I think i got beer on your cat.
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