Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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