You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Oh god it's open bar.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
