In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
