is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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