a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
