I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
