why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Randomize
