I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
