You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
