I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
