To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
