Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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