So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
