Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
