We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
