i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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