do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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