Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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