sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
