Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
