theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
