I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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