just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Girls should come with a carfax report
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just invented taco cereal.
As shirtless as possible
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
