i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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