just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
