Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
