Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
