make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
